uffff.....(and a box of kleenex later)
There I was puffy faced, tears streaming down my cheeks, clutching the kleenex in my hands, fumbling for words, and eye to eye with the person who had been causing the most amount of pain and grief in my life for the last two years,
There was a moment where there was a choice point.
Truth be told.
I didn't want to do it.
I didn't want to utter the words.
I didn't want to admit (or even look at) my role in the scenario,
So I swallowed my pride, and looked my son's Dad in the eyes and apologized...
It wasn't just a sorry, but the sorry was followed up by all of the things I had done to create the situation we were in.
Although it SUCKED. Although it was painful. Although I didn't want to do it.
Doing it was like letting 10,000 pounds of judgments, conclusions, fight, and rightness, just dissipated.
I knew that in that moment, if I did the one thing I had been refusing to do in the last 2 years, that something would change....not for anyone but me...
AND then it happened....all of the places where I had been fighting the rightness of me in every area started to disappear....