by Mandi bugatti
My lungs were burning in a way I had never felt before. Beads of sweat stuck to my skin like maple syrup on a pancake. I was grinning from ear to ear as I gasped for air, and shakily raised my phone for the picturesque shot. I was halfway up the Manitou Incline in Colorado Springs. Not only was it my first time at altitude, I chose the Holy Grail of cardio for my first hike. It’s a mile to the top with 2,000 ft change in elevation. My body said “bring it,” and that was how I began Katherine’s 30 days of Actualization Series back in July.
The week before I was home in Dallas, Texas with the urge to FLY. I quit my job in April knowing, trusting it was time to let it go. I was changing a mile a minute, but my savings was getting low. After 2 months, I was thinking I need a job now! Maybe I get a job, and then move?
Then, I got the hit to go on this crazy adventure my friend lovingly calls my vision quest: start driving and go wherever my body wanted to go, and do what it wanted to do, for an undetermined period of time. I was scared! What if I run out of money?! What if I get kidnapped while traveling solo?! What if (insert all the reasons)..?! I made friends with my fear, and 2 days later it was me and the open road, not knowing where my body would take me next.
So what does this have to do with actualization? I had been asking to move from Dallas for like 5 years, but was never able to make it happen! I was frustrated and impatient, but totally willing to follow the energy. Vision quest was my next step, and it coincided with Katherine’s class like a perfect storm. I let go of control as I leapt from platforms while ziplining in Colorado. I engaged with the elementals in the Sequoia National Forest. I destroyed definitions and didn’t know who I was at the Grand Canyon. I shifted into “being” the move I was asking for among the vortexes of Sedona-all topics from the series.
I played for 8 days and came back different. I continued listening to the daily calls, shifting, morphing, asking questions. I let the tears flow and relished the giggle fits as the energies and awareness washed over me. Some of the audios made me straight up pass out, and I would wake up with drool on my pillow as it ended. Those I put on repeat. Maybe I move to Sedona?
After the series ended, Austin, TX whispered in my ear. I wanted to judge it as not ideal because it’s not by the ocean. However, I learned from my trip’s flow that it’s the NEXT place not THE place, and of course it never shows up how you think it will. A week later I found myself in Austin with ease. Woohoo, actualized!! A month later (tomorrow at the time of this writing) I start my new job in a field that is more play than work, in a part of Austin that makes my body sing. Woohoo, actualized!!
Would you like to play with the tools for actualizing your reality? I am so excited for Katherine’s next creation: The Activate Now Series, and this is my official invitation to you. This series will be 6 sessions via Zoom, and you can ask your questions directly. What if the key to actualizing wasn’t what you thought? The magic starts with your yes, and the series begins October 10th.
Click here for more info and to register.
As for the Manitou Incline, I haven’t made it to the top…yet!
It’s something I use to say a lot, especially when I was unhappy!
Well, truth be told, I was miserable.
Dripping with depression, sadness, loneliness, sorrow, and long lost feelings of never being enough and always missing the mark, I felt like a lost fish in a sea of unrecognizable creatures. Essentially, I was on the brink of dying.
I never felt like I ever fit in.
As a result, I chose men that were abusive. I chose to drink excessively, smoke tobacco whenever I felt necessary, binge on my drug of choice at the moment, essentially a rotating cocktail of different sorts, and secretly use food to pacify the loneliness when the alcohol and drugs wore off.
I reveled in the inconceivable extremes, the adrenaline of the ever swinging pendulum.
I was always testing it’s limits. Ultimately, I was testing me, pursuing a quest to see how strong I was….And whether or not I would survive?
Mac Miller’s suicide, Demi Lovato’s recent overdose and the self-induced deaths of Anthony Bourdain (one of my personal favorites) and Kate Spade reminded me that you never know what happens behind closed doors.
I’m still here. I never overdosed and I didn’t commit suicide, but there were many years that I obsessively contemplated what it would be like if I ended my life.
I asked myself repeatedly the same questions:
Would anyone be there?
Would anyone notice?
Would there ever be light at the end of the tunnel?
Today, the answer for me is a clear and astounding YES.
But back then, I had no idea! I was drowning and every stroke I took in that unending sea never resulted in enough air to know If I would survive.
The truth is that there are many that don’t find light at the end of the tunnel. Frankly, they never truly catch their breath. They prematurely end their lives or find themselves swallowed up by an incessant pressure that ultimately causes an internal explosion of darkness, insecurities, and pent up emotions.
We see it often. From an outsider’s perspective, they have hit their version of success. Unfortunately, just as I told myself many a nights when my first husband was drunk and beating me to a point where my face became unrecognizable, you never know what happens behind closed doors.
The truth is, most suffer.
Now I know it doesn’t have to be that way. However, when I was knee deep in the middle of it, I never thought there would be another way.
Depression & Addiction are real. They swallow many whole before it’s too late.
The Answer isn’t one sided: there is a plethora of possibilities out there.
For me, an extremist of all proportions, I needed a solution that was more passionate & pragmatic than the addiction.
I personally needed something that gave me more life than I had every experienced. In essence, an adrenaline pump of possibilities, freedom, air, and exhilaration to the nth degree.
Therapy didn’t work for me. I tried dancing it out, yelling it out, drinking it out, sexing it out, exorcising it out, punching bean bags, yoga, cupping, cranial sacral, massage, somatic psychology-ing it out, flying across the world to find healers to take it out….and yet nothing really came close to touching the pain points that I needed to change.
Finally, something did reach and influence those pressure points. I found Access Consciousness and a hands on healing modality called The Bars.
Everyone is different and everyone needs a different remedy, a cocktail of possibilities in a sea of drowning fish.
For me, that remedy was consciousness. Instead of fighting with my internal demons, I got to live with an incredible zest for all things ALIVE!!
I now know that when depression hits I have an infinite amount of tools to change it.
My hope is for those struggling, that they have access to tools to change whatever it is they feel is swallowing them whole.
For me, my medicine, was Access Consciousness and getting my bars run.
There is hope my friends….
And whatever it is, may you know wherever you are in your journey…you don’t have to suffer!!!
What if time wasn't relevant and the space of possibility was the required for the energy of creation instead?
So often we use time as a measurement of success when in reality if we use the space of creation to infuse possibilities, everything can be created. Everyone has 24 hours in day, 7 days a week, 52 weeks a year.
So what makes it possible for some people to create the impossible in the same amount of time?
I believe it's the willingness to defy time and use the energetics of knowing as a gateway into the extraordinary.
Think about it...have you ever taken a class or a course with the promise of creating a business, building it from scratch to 6 figures, or 6 figures to 7 figures...or writing a book in 30 days, or getting 10,000 followers in 21 days, or losing 20 pounds in 30 days?
It's not that you can't do these things in that amount of time, it's that if you follow someone else's protocol absent of your own knowing, those things will come and go.....and time will pass you by.
The trick my dear friends...is that if you follow your knowing, if you dig deep into your gut, you trust your inner knowing, and your actions are guided by your instincts, you can and will create the unimaginable, but no one can dictate it for you....
It has to come from within and you have to choose.
Everything you've ever desired to create is already inside of you.
So listen to your mentors, take classes, follow the leaders, do a diet, but never, ever give up your knowing in favor of someone else's opinion.
If you truly desire to get intimate with you and discover the greatness that's inside of you, there are steps you can take.
Here is a brief list of ways to discover the genius that's inside of you....
If you wonder what you can create in 6 months time use the above everyday to give you a chance to re-create yourself, your business, and your relationships everyday.
I mean, you could follow someone else's knowing, or you could trust you.....
And when you trust you to create anything at anytime, you will create things that have never before existed.
Genius was born of the irrational mind, so do something crazy, totally out of your comfort zone and get irrational. Your dreams are waiting and those dreams don't belong on the sidelines.
You are not a spectator as to what does or doesn't' happen....you are a creator of it.
If you'd like to play with a group of people on a journey together to discover your knowing, use the tools, invite the impossible, and truly create what you've never created before, you are invited to a 6 month journey like never before.
You won't be given formulas, but you will be invited into your knowing.
What do you know that no one else knows and are you willing to go for it, no matter what!
No Judgment for Life! A 6 month journey that is changing lives...is coming soon!!!
Is Now the time?
Katherine McIntosh, Founder of The No Judgment Diet and Access Consciousness Certified Facilitator has been leading individuals and groups for over 20 years. She knows the power of working with possibilities not probabilities. And she also knows the importance of doing it with a team of people interested in your success. This journey isn't for going it alone. So if you would like to jump into the possibilities of a 6 month journey with private and group facilitation with people serious about creating different, being different, and choosing different.....Empower you to know, to create, and to never give up your knowing for anyone else.....you are invited. Is now the time to take the leap?
You know that judgments are a creation.....right? And yet somewhere along the way, when a judgment comes along you make it yours. You make it dense, solid, and real.....you make the judgment significant and you make other people's judgments significant as if someone else's thought could stop the potency of you.
For every judgment you make significant or buy as real, it is actually a way to create a limitation and cut off your awareness.
Have you ever stopped to think how much judgment you try to process on a daily basis? You know from the depth of your being that 98% of judgments aren't yours, and yet returning it to sender doesn't always work....
If you can't stop a thought, the thought isn't yours.
Young grasshopper....no thought that creates a limitation is actually yours if you are functioning from an infinite being!!
As a female woman raised in an irish Catholic Family I learned to hate my body. I learned to have ZERO appreciation and gratitude for my body. And I also learned that the only way to change my body was to force judgments on it, to starve it, stuff it, ignore it, demand of it, restrict, and criticize it.
Unfortunately, I know that this point of view is not unusual.
How do I know this?
Only 4% of women worldwide consider themselves beautiful? That means if you are one of the 96% of women all over the world, you’ve probably spent your entire life, money, and resources on trying to solve the void you feel of not feeling beautiful enough.
The problem of trying to fix your body can’t be solved in a diet, pill, or external solution outside of you. in fact, those temporary solutions only exacerbate the issue. Any external solution can provide a platform to inform and empower what actually works for you, your body, and your life. However almost every external solution doesn’t address the actual issue of WHY someone is looking outside themselves.
Most women go on a diet to lose weight, but why are they actually doing it? To feel beautiful, to have more energy, to be happy. Losing weight is just one step in the quest for self-awareness and yet it’s rare to encounter a diet that is actually interested in a woman or man’s self-awareness.
The average american woman will spend an average of 30 years of her life on some sort of diet, while spending an average of $1,422 a year on quick fixes that will only leave her feeling more frustrated, less satisfied, and with a hole in her wallet of almost $1,500 a year. Do the math….the average woman will spend close to $43,000 on a diets that perpetuate low self esteem and following someone else’s formula.
It's truly about getting you to wake up....to stop wasting your time trying to solve judgments or fix you, but rather to make a demand of yourself that you start to be intensely aware of everything around you. For every external solution you've decided you think will work, cuts you off from your awareness of the future. Your body is not a robot....and neither are you.
So if you truly would like to create a life that is all about living, not just surviving, but the exuberant expression of living, then it is time to DEMAND to let go of buying judgments as real.
You are not pathetic, you are not screwed up. In fact, you are far more brilliant and beautiful than you have ever given yourself credit for.
Your body has a unique blueprint. It's brilliant and aware and it desires to give you everything you've ever asked for. Your body is an element of your awareness....and yet every time you decide you need to fix your body, you instill a conclusion that your body needs fixing and that something is wrong with you.
Newsflash: There is nothing wrong with you!! There is nothing wrong with your body.
I'm not saying don't do a diet. I'm saying if you do a diet, don't cut off your awareness in the future.
No one thing is the right solution permanently.
The problem isn’t your body or that your body is wrong or that you don’t have enough will power...the problem is that it’s not an external solution that will get you to the peace, joy, and happiness you actually desire. You don’t climb a mountain by taking one step and hoping you get to the top, you take a step every second and you continue to take small steps til you get to the top, and then you climb down. Life is like a continuous set of mountains we ascend and descend all along the way. Every time you climb a mountain, there is a level of confidence, endorphin rush, and a feeling of accomplishment that gets created (and even when it's not easy). Life is constantly about increasing the endorphin rush of accomplishment….that encompasses using your awareness every step of the way….your body is no different...it is a constantly changing creation that desires to walk the mountain with you……
Think about it...barking orders at your body for the rest of your life...will never create the sense of space, peace, and communion you actually desire in your life. So stop the negative self-talk, constantly barking orders at your body, then making your body wrong cuz it didn’t turn out the way you thought it should…..if you did relationship the way you do your body, your relationships wouldn’t last for very long...and yet….20, 30, 40, 50+ years later, your body is still attached to you (it’s still here). Isn’t it time to wake up and create a whole new way of looking at your body, business, and life choices?
If you are tired of wasting money on solutions that continue to perpetuate this idea that you and your body are wrong….you might just want to add this revolutionary way of loving the skin you’re in. Stop the Judgments. You have a choice. They are not yours.
For every judgment, take one step up the mountain and walk away, leave the judgments behind you. Every moment of every day...you have a choice.
Katherine McIntosh, the founder of this worldwide revolution is a best selling author, international speaker, and facilitator that has 25+ years of personal and professional experience in diet, body, nutrition, psychology, and energy medicine. At 96 pounds and waking up in a hospital bed, she knows first hand, that getting to your ideal body weight, never actually solved the problem underneath the need to lose weight. It’s time we love the skin we’re in.
Are you ready for a revolution?
Coming to a city near you.
For a free 4 part video series, go to: http://www.no-judgement-diet.com/free-video-series
How many minutes of the day do you judge you?
Take a look at it...
Do you judge your body? Your clothes? What you can or can't afford? Do you judge the size of your thighs, or the the wrinkles on your face?
Do you judge your bank account? Do you analyze what you did or didn't do for the day?
Judgment literally can take us out of our awareness. When we make decisions from unawareness, we turn off the intuitive hits and sometimes end up making "cute" decisions.
Did you know that only 4% of women worldwide consider themselves beautiful?
That means that most people on the planet spend a good chunk of time in judgment!! If you had an extra 1-2 hours a day for you....what would you do?
What if you could love the skin you're in?
It's time for a NEW DIET!!
The No Judgment Diet will change the way you look at food, your body, creativity, and your life!!
You see, I was one of those crazy obsessed anorexic, bulimics that spent 23-24 hours a day (yes even in my sleep) obsessing about my weight, calories, food, exercise, what I did or didn't eat, what I did or didn't do to burn calories.
What I did or didn't look like in the mirror. I think I spent at least 2-3 hours every day staring at myself in the mirror....
I'm almost embarrassed to admit that....but that's alot of TIME!!
3 years ago after the birth of my son, I decided to STOP!! I stopped the madness...and something CRAZY happened!!
I started to enjoy my life, love the skin I was in, and enjoy every moment...I even started to enjoy eating food without feeling guilty.
And you know what....
I lost weight (eating bacon, fat, ice cream, pizza, cookies, candy, etc). I felt healther, I had more energy, I exercised less, and I started a business from scratch and had so much creative energy I generated $100,000 in 10 months!!
If you are ready to have more time, more space, more play, less stress, and less judgment, then come join The No Judgment Diet!!
#nojudgment diet #lovetheskinyourein #bethechange #inspire #thenewdiet #itworks
Have you ever kept a secret thinking that no one knew?
The thing I've discovered about secrets is that it's actually obvious someone is hiding something. You might not know what they are hiding, but that they are hiding something...that's true.....and you can usually sense it.
For me, almost my whole life I've been aware of people's insecurities that they hide.
Probably because I was trying to hide mine my whole life.....
My secret WAS that even though I am an incredible body worker, was a talented althete, and an expert on body's....I hated my body. Hated it....
Hated it so much that I came pretty close to starving myself to death....and even then I thought I was fat.
You see, I never thought that I could LOVE my body. I never thought that I would be okay with it. Never.
Until, one day, I found the tools of Access Consciousness....and slowly over time....everything changed!
And little did I know that when I stopped spending hours a day agonizing over what I ate, how much, that I ate too much, not enough, didn't exercise, or needed to exercise 3 hours a day...that all that mental head tripping was keeping me from creating my life. It was like I was in survival mode....only I didn't know it.
Once I shifted my self-hatred and incessant judgment of myself and my body, life got easier, lighter, happier. I lost weight eating ice cream and exercising less. I stopped judging me...and I started creating my life.
I went from broke, depressed, hungry for anything....to traveling the world and lit up facilitating people of all walks of life to create the life of their dreams. You see, what I've found is that most people have no idea how much time they spend judging themselves or worrying about something in their lives...this judgment or worry keeps people from accessing their knowing....and if you cut off your knowing (or awareness) then you can't follow the energy to create your future in a way that is beyond what you can imagine.
My life changed once I found the tools of Access Consciousness. My body changed. My business changed. My relationships changed. My money flows changed. Life got brighter and I got happier.
So whether or not you judge your body, the size of your thighs, your bank account, your communication skills, your age, your success, your retirement....it all stops you from accessing the magic that is inside of each of you.
So my message is....stop judging and start creating. The world is waiting for you to be lit up!
When you judge you, secretly shame you or your body, it doesn't just impact you, it impacts your relationships, your confidence, your communication skills, your decision making skills, and so much more.
If you know, it is time. Time to stop judging, time to stop hating, time to stop hiding, time to stop keeping secrets......
I invite you join me on a journey that will help you get out of judgment in every area of your life, please go here to see what the magic is all about!!
One of the places that I’ve judged myself the most is as a mother.I like to call myself a recovering perfectionist,
All I could think about once I had a child was getting everything ‘right’. I used to get hysterical when my first born had to drink tap water or eat food that wasn’t organic. I thought I was doing her body permanent damage! When my second child was born via cesarean instead of a the ‘perfect’ home-birth that I had planned, I launched myself into several months of depression that even my go-to tools of yoga and mediation could not bring me out from under. I couldn’t even get nursing right. After breastfeeding both of my children well past 1 year, my body was consistently 10-15 pounds below my pre-baby weight. I know – not the typical complaint of a new mother, and still, it caused me to feel undesirable, boyish, and like sex was the furthest thing from my mind!
When I came across Katherine McIntosh’s no-judgment diet in her
I’ll Have What She’s Having Program and the tools of Access Consciousness…
…it was the first time that I even became aware of the judgment that I was functioning from.Not just of myself, but of wanting to ‘fix’ everyone else or share what would be the thing that would make everything good and better and perfect for them. I was in a constant state of judging myself for not being good enough and judging everyone else for not choosing what I thought must be ‘right’. NOT FUN AT ALL!!!
When I began Katherine’s program, I thought I’d end some of the judgment towards my body (couldn’t be that much could there be?). I had no idea how it would change every area of my life.
I started to look at myself in the mirror with such gentleness and gratitude that it brought me to tears.Here I had been judging my body, abusing it by going against its knowing, and my body was here, STILL LOVING ME.
How brilliant are our bodies?
And by the end of the no judgment diet and Katherine’s 30 Day program,
the craziest thing happened….
I got out of judgment of every area of my life.
I got out of judgment of my money flows and what business and ‘work’ supposedly mean. Which all led to me increasing my income 10 fold within the span of a few months.
I got out of judgment of my husband and kids and family – which led to so much more ease and joy at home and offers for babysitting and contribution in all other areas.
I got out of judgment of sex and relationship and my body has literally been in tears of gratitude for how much more pleasurable and enjoyable sex and orgasm are now – and what else is possible beyond this??
I now ask my body questions daily about what would contribute to it. I’ve used the no-judgment diet as a way to launch myself full throttle into other Access Consciousness classes and receiving them on a whole new level. I’ve chosen bodywork from Dr. Dain Heer and other brilliant Access facilitators that have shifted my whole reality.
I’ve stepped up and chosen a whole lot more of me, and the change that that has created has been nothing short of magic. I honor what a massive contribution getting out of judgment has been and continues to be, and I am so grateful to Katherine and this program for showing me the door to a completely different possibility.
I wonder what change you can create by choosing no-judgment for you?
Guest Blog by Emily Evans Russell. Emily is a Certified Access Consciousness® Bars & Body Process Facilitator, Yoga Teacher and Social Media Maven.
She has her Masters Degree in Teaching and a BA in Biological Sciences. You can find more of Emily’s blogs on herwebsite.
(Feature image by Ashlee Wells Jackson – 4thtrimesterbodies.com)
Would you like to do the No Judgment Diet?
Go to www.nojudgementdiet.com and if you have a #NoJudgmentDiet story we want to hear!