It was hopeless. 😳
I was hopeless. 😢
I'll never feel good enough. 😕
I can't find anything to wear!! 🤬
Nothing fits me! 😭😭😭
I forced myself up off the pile of clothes and wiped my tears dry. 😢
How did I get here? Why was this happening....AGAIN!!??😭😭😭
Two hours prior, I was standing in my closet wondering what outfit I would wear to this long anticipated event. 💃💃💃
I pulled a black dress off the hanger and put it on.
As I looked in the mirror, it felt like I had been punched in the gut. I started to pinch at my body, imagining if only I looked different. If only my legs were a little more toned, a little bit skinnier, a little bit longer, my belly a bit tighter (as I sucked in)...maybe if I had a butt lift, then I would look good enough.
My palms started to sweat, my face got flushed, and my heart started racing. These insane judgments I had of me started racing through me, and the more they raced through, my anticipation, excitement and enthusiasm quickly turned into shame, rage, disgust, hate, and disappointment. My head started to hang low, this sinking feeling of depression came over my whole body, my posture changed, and a tear started to stream down my face.
I forced myself to pick my head back up and say to myself...it’s only one outfit, let’s try something different.
Maybe the dryer shrunk the dress, maybe it was just a mistake, maybe….🥺🥺
And so I tried on the next outfit, only it was worse...and then another and another…
and as the minutes went by, my heart was pounding, I was sweating, swearing, crying. I felt defeated as I looked at myself in the mirror and at the pile of clothes now crumpled on the floor, I threw my hands up in the air, put my hands over my eyes and fell to the floor on top of my already crumpled clothes. 🥵🥵
I remember thinking, "I’ll never be good enough, I’ll never be pretty enough, no one will ever love me and I will never be able to love my body. I’ve tried everything. It’s hopeless. I’m hopeless. I might as well not be here any more. The world would be better off without me."😥😥
Looking back at that moment, It was one of the worst times of my life.
And what's worse is that I believed everything I thought.
I believed I wasn't enough,
I wasn't pretty enough,
sexy enough, etc.
(I even included a picture from that time so you can see how insane my thinking was!!!!)
👉👉👉Has that ever happened to you?
Have you ever looked at a picture from yourself from the past and thought what the HELL was I thinking...why would I ridicule myself....
And then you turn around look in the mirror and start ridiculing how you look now....
It's darn right ridiculous!!!
Let me ask you a question...
If there was a way to stop this cycle, and it was a proven method to help you retrain your brain to stop the ridicule, stop the judgments, change your body, and change your life, would you be interested in knowing what that is?
Before you answer yes, I have to warn you...
It's not a quick fix.
It isn't a gimmick.
There are no false promises.
And you'd have to do something no one else may have invited you to do...
You have to believe in yourself.
You have to be willing to know your worth, and believe in your value.
Do you still want to know what it is?
If you answered yes,
I am doing something I've NEVER done before...😁😁
It will blow your mind.
What if I told you that when you stop this cycle, you will have more freedom, more space, & more joy?
What if I told you this could save you hours a day?
What if I told you it could put you into your optimum state of creativity?
What if I told you this could literally be the secret to having the confidence to build your business, get over your fears, transform your parenting and empower you to be the best version of yourself, and so much more?
If you're interested. click on the link here
And if you happen to know someone who this could contribute to, please share.
Cheers to your dream body, business, and life because you deserve to shine!!
Katherine (no longer crying in my closet) McIntosh